At the end of the day the lion’s share of men out there will own up to the fact that at some point in their lives they owned a pair of epic breakaway pants. They seemed so cool at the time they bordered on ruthless. As we bought them we pictured taking them off like some sort of fitness model, picturesque and graceful like some legend of masculinity.
What happened? Where did they go? What’s the fashion world have to say about this? Apparently while a stellar idea in concept, in reality they’re not all that special. In fact, the reason why almost no one wears them anymore is because they’re messy.
How do Breakaway Pants Work?
They’re glorified sweat pants or sporty pants that button up along the outside of one or possible both pant legs. This means with one good tub a guy can become pant less, or slowly unbutton them. Whoosh! Right?
How They Actually Work
We’ve all tried to do the whoosh thing, but it didn’t work did it? It never works because there’s too many buttons. Even when you unbutton the first couple and then try it doesn’t work. The angle’s all wrong.
Furthermore, every time you unbutton them you have to manually take the time to button them up again which can get a bit tricky with so many to match up. One wrong snap at the bottom and you have to start all over again.
What’s The Point Really?
If you can’t grab the waistband and whoosh these things off, what in the name of all that is Holy is the point of these things? Honestly…Is it just to have buttons on the outside of sporty sweats-like pants? Huh? Most men will admit that these things are actually more difficult to remove the extra tight and soaking wet blue jeans!
The Magic of Capitalism
When all is said and done, the ONLY reason men wanted to own breakaway pants was though that once in their life they could whoosh the things off in one fluid motion. It didn’t work out with buttons. So, another company is giving it a shot. They call their pants “Zipways.” By replacing the buttons with a smooth action zipper they claim to make it possible for this heroic movement. Here’s a quote from their website:
“The patented self-sliding zippers on the Zipway pant work effortlessly over and over for a long lasting enjoyable motion which is unmatched by any other in the industry”
If you need to have a sexy sweat pants look, just go for the real thing. If you absolutely must have a pair of pants that at the drop of a hat you can remove with in one fell swoop, either check out the Zipway or design a new mechanism and shock the men’s fashion world.